Should We Look Back In Anger?


“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not something to be waited for, but rather something to be achieved.” ~William Jennings Bryan

In every heartbreak, all men and women are equal… It doesn’t matter if you’ve been good or bad, unfortunately either way, you’ll be crashed to pieces once, twice or often when someone breaks your heart. Everything is a result of a choice, a consequence of a wrong perception.

Everyone is born, lives, suffers and dies. What distinguishes us from one another is our dreams, the dream of finding one soul who will reciprocate the love we willing to give, unconditionally. We do not choose to be born. We do not choose our parents or the family whom we’re gonna have for the rest of our lives. But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live, and to whom we’ll trustingly give our heart and soul.

Is there really a right person for someone? If that’s so, who determines the qualifications? Will it be the heart who’s blinded with passion and longing, be trusted in doing the decision? Can the choice be right, if this is the circumstance? Can a person use his mind to choose when his heart isn’t agreeing?

All too often, we fail to focus on our choices upon results, and therefore often than not, our choices are ineffective. If you limit your choices only to what seem possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise. Then if you’ll live your life thru a compromise, will you be happy? But then again, I will also agree, that happiness is very subjective. Like everything else in life, being happy is a choice we make.

There is so much about our own and everyone else’s fate that we cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. We can choose how we’re going to regard unfortunate circumstances in our lives-whether we will see them as curses or opportunities. We can choose our words and the tone of voice in which we speak to others. And most of all, we can choose our thoughts. Everything is mind conditioning.

Now the question is, is having a heartbreak easier to anyone? Absolutely not. It’s not a matter of asking whether you were good or bad in the relationship. It is the regret of wasting the time and the emotion invested in the relationship. Reminds me of the lyrics of a Coldplay song… Fix You. “When you try your best, but you don’t succeed. When you get what you want, but not what you need. When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep. Stuck in reverse. And the tears come streaming down your face. When you lose something you can’t replace. When you love someone, but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?”

Everybody hurts… The really tough choices don’t center upon right versus wrong. They involve right versus right. We become our choice. The choice wherein we decide, if we’ll make our heart either a palace, or a prison.

I still believe in love. No matter how many times I stumbled, stabbed straight to the heart, bruised, pitted to the ground… Pain is a sudden hurt that can’t be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. There’s nothing anyone can do, for me to lose my belief in love. Laugh at me, as loud as you can, I couldn’t care less. I believe strongly that the feeling that broke my heart is also the very one, that can heal it. It’s love. Might not be for another person, but the love I seek within me.